ЕССЕ SPECTACULUM DIGNUM, AD QUOD RESPICIAT INTENTUS OPERI SUO DEUS



BEHOLD A SIGHT WORTHY OF GOD'S GAZE, AS HE REFLECTS UPON HIS CREATION
ВОТ ЗРЕЛИЩЕ, ДОСТОЙНОЕ ТОГО, ЧТОБЫ НА НЕГО ОГЛЯНУЛСЯ БОГ, СОЗЕРЦАЯ СВОЕ ТВОРЕНИЕ











© Support, Research and Development Center
2020
сидя на красивом холме, я часто слышу мир и вот, что видится мне: что дело не в борьбе и не в количестве денег и не в новом фольклоре и не в гнетущей молве. и мы бредем вслепую в странных местах, и все что есть у нас это радость и страх. страх за то, что мы хуже, чем можем, и радость за то, что все в надежных руках. и попадая, падая на какие-то местности, вдруг замечаем, как сдвигается цветовой спектр, воздух от мыслей становится полупрозрачен и стар, и от глубинного, животно-неопределенного пота поверхности становятся вязкими.

в европейских городах, там, где уютные частные особнячки переходят в кварталы дешевого муниципального жилья, находятся демилитаризованные зоны беспошлинной торговли всем, здесь может и нет такого здравого деления - действительность плавно переходит в другую действительность, тяжелую/веселую или депрессивную.

sitting on a picturesque hill I often hear the world and it tells me that it's not about the struggle or the amount of money, or the new folklore, or the stifling rumors. and so we wander blindly in strange places, and all that we have is joy and fear. The fear of being less than we can be. The joy that everything is in safe hands. and then ending up and stumbling across some places, we suddenly notice how the color spectrum shifts, how thoughts make the air semi-opaque and old. how the surfaces get viscous from a deep and uncertainly beastly sweat.

In European cities, where cosy private mansions stand next to cheap municipal housing suburbs. there are demilitarized zones with duty-free trading of everything, in Pathogonia perhaps there isn't any sensible distinction here – reality gradually becomes a different reality, heavy or joyful, or outright depressing.
"...buprenorphine…the entire pack. i grabbed it today. and it's just enough for about a week"
transit territories, streamlined trajectories, displaced sense-making destination points – multiplied by the emptiness of siesta hours, plus the subtlest mimicry of being a normal citizen like the rest of them, or even better, the mimicry of being a wall – giving complete dehumanization of a space and time reality show run by a competent drug user

транзитные территории, спрямленные траектории, смещенные смысловые пункты назначения, помноженные на пустоту времени сиесты, плюс тончайшее мимикрирование под нормальных сограждан, а лучше даже под стены, дает полнейшее обезличивание пространственно-временного реалити-шоу компетентного потребителя









…"buprick", the entire pack, you know, if you use it sparingly it'll still put you on your ass, you will be wasted every day. I don't mean neglecting yourself, if you put it under your tongue, it doesn't get through to your stomach and to your liver, it doesn't metabolize – just 10 % of it goes through successfully. so that is why it's put under the tongue –to get the substance directly into the blood through the mucosa. so… you can sniff it!"

drugstores, prescriptions, confidence rooms and AIDS centers – the extremes, where chaotic, from a layman's perspective, Brownian motion slows down and formless entities acquire skin, nerves, hats.
right beyond the entrance, in a tiny appendix of the corridor they wait to be received, while their despairing thoughts create an atmosphere of such tension that an axe hanging in the air starts to melt and the walls succumb, starting to bleed with pain - hell is already here

аптеки, рецепты, кабинеты доверия – крайние точки,
где беспорядочное, с точки зрения обывателя, броуновское движение замедляется, и бестелесные особи покрываются кожей, нервами, шапками.
за порогом, в маленьком аппендиксе, ожидающие приема
создают своими безысходными мыслями поле такого напряжения, что топор висящий плавится, и стены не выдерживают и начинают сочиться болью
– ад уже здесь

"...a truly rabid concierge!... and here, there's even an intercom, you come in, and she asks you anyway – "where are you going"? a kind of double check. And if you, you know, didn't wink at her the right way – she immediately rats you out to my buddy's mom, saying that "addicts are walking around here", Anyway, she's a screwed up concierge!"
in an atmosphere full of toxic fumes certain pale essences of patients can't endure and turn to ashes, collapsing onto the floor. The flowers that had adapted and mutated are kept in cages to avoid a carnivorous attack on those who stumble in

в наполненной ядовитыми испарениями атмосфере, некоторые бледные сущности пациентов не выдерживают и осыпаются прахом на пол. адаптировавшиеся и мутировавшие цветы содержатся в клетках во избежание плотоядного нападения на оступившегося
"...ah, cops… anyway, just imagine, you're walking along … generally, if they stop you – they stop you at the entrance to the subway station. And if they're standing down on the platform, it's as though they're guarding it, and I'm just walking along and, check it out, a cop starts running towards me through the crowd, I guess someone must've showed my picture to him (I assume). So, imagine, a cop is running through the crowd right towards me, I'm with my buddy and I ask this cop – "So whatcha gonna do to me, huh?"
an intentionally unassuming picture – the pointlessness of existence without humans. Even if you can fathom how many billions it's worth, it doesn't give it any more warmth

нарочито непритязательная картинка – тщета сущего без человека. даже если домыслить, каких миллиардов она стоит, тепла в ней не прибавится

"...a meth dealer, pervitin to be precise, lived here… here, in this district, i know only such guys, opiate heads, who used to hang around here trying to score – just two of them. But in my disctrict, there are whole blocks of opiate heads, I mean literally everyone on the block - people who started using with tramadol… here, it seems, they all started with pervitin"
Privat bank cash machines, pawnshops and collections of street furniture – yet more teleports into the universe of easyriders. just like animals coming to a watering hole are ambushed by predators, here too peaceful co-existence is cut up by fast walking and crazy gazes

банкоматы приват банка, ломбарды и скопления МАФов
– ещё одни телепорты в пространство изирайдеров.
как и животные, приходящие на водопой, подстерегаются хищниками, так и здесь мирное сосуществование режется быстрой походкой и безумными взглядами

"...Perhaps it's a bit too expensive [the buprenorphine]– 1000 hryvnias [=35$], but at least, hey, it's not some shit that you picked up somewhere, at some fucking dead drop, or some other bullshit. Even when the cops come up to you, you stick your prescription in their face – they look at it and that's all, they can't do anything to you"
in the open spaces, in the valleys, along the roads that stretch ahead a thought keeps creeping into my brain: someone who's been using a lot says that a blister pack of buprenorphin pills is enough for about ten days…

на просторах, на равнинах, на уходящих вдаль дорогах, к мозгам настойчиво подкрадывается мысль: человек, немало употреблявший, говорит, что пласта таблеток бупренорфина хватает дней на десять …


"..what's crazy about this lake is that rats swim in it. There, on the other side, it's another crazy thing, can you believe it, there's a huge cemetery. Right behind the lake - do you see it? where the tree-line is– and it's fenced off. It's 3 miles, a very huge cemetery, and can you believe it– it's right here!"
little houses, with pigeons living in them, were erected by German prisoners of war. They stand next to panel buildings – late Soviet era ones, a legacy of the fact that when they were built, a significant amount of them were allocated to those coming out of prison. They mix in easily with the stories abouthow the early money was made– giving birth to the most druggie part of the new residential blocks

построенные пленными немцами домишки с голубятнями соседствуют с панельками позднесоветскими, предания о том, что при застройке значительное количество жилья предоставлялось освободившимся из тюрьмы,
миксуются на три аккорда с первоначальным накоплением капитала, порождая самое наркотское место в новостройках




"..so, we are walking now, and things are gonna get creepier and creepier and then it will all turn to shit"
was keeping an eye on the neighbourhood, lived according to the street code, got out of prison, started shooting up, snuffed it – it's the legend, a role model for the 2000's generation

смотрел за районом, жил по понятиям, вышел из тюрьмы, заторчал, сгинул – легенда, ролевая модель поведения для нулевого поколения
"good weed – there's no need to advertise it. People will buy it all up anyway. But this chinese shit, no normal person will smoke it"
just before the final curtain – a lovely scene that's so moving – it's about people who look frightening but are so kind-hearted on the inside – the guy and his wife had found and adopted a cat, sterilized it… look here, i've nicked some nice food for the kitty

под занавес - умилительная своей добротой картина про то, что страшные снаружи, добрейшие внутри - нашли с женой кошку, стерилизовали,
вот, корм хороший утянул

"... you haven't ever used drugs? have you?"
* For tomorrow.
It's never too late.
My coffin still makes noise in the forest.He's a tree, he nurses nests.


INVITUM QUI SERVAT IDEM FACIT OCCIDENTI









ONE WHO SAVES A MAN AGAINST HIS WILL, IS NO BETTER THAN A MURDERER

КТО СПАСАЕТ ЧЕЛОВЕКА ПРОТИВ ЕГО ВОЛИ, ПОСТУПАЕТ НЕ ЛУЧШЕ УБИЙЦЫ






















© Support, Research and Development Center

2020
















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